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How do I love my adopted child?

Published in Adoption Support 3 mins read

Loving your adopted child involves creating a stable, supportive, and communicative environment. The following points outline how to foster a strong and loving bond:

Building a Loving Relationship

Loving an adopted child is a journey of building trust and connection, similar to any parent-child relationship, but with considerations specific to adoption.

Establishing Stability and Routine

  • Establish Permanency: Create a sense of security by solidifying their place in your family. This reassurance is crucial for their emotional well-being.
  • Stick to a Routine: Predictability helps children feel safe and secure. Consistent routines provide comfort and stability.

Fostering Attachment and Connection

  • Attachment Will Come With Time: Building a strong attachment takes time and patience. Don't expect it to happen overnight. Allow the relationship to develop naturally.
  • Open Up the Lines of Communication: Create an environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their feelings and experiences. This includes being open to discussing their adoption story when they are ready.
  • Involve Your Child in Family Decisions: Making them a part of the decision-making process fosters a sense of belonging and value within the family.

Showing Support and Understanding

  • As Much As You May Want To, Don't Hover: Give your child space to grow and develop independently. Over-protectiveness can hinder their sense of self.
  • Rejection Isn't Personal: Understand that your child may sometimes act out or push you away. This behavior often stems from past experiences and doesn't reflect their feelings towards you.
  • Make Sure to Not Verbally Attack the Birth Parents: Always speak respectfully about their birth parents, even if you don't agree with their decisions. This shows your child that you respect their origins and helps them process their identity.

Practical Tips for Showing Love

  • Spend quality time together: Engage in activities your child enjoys.
  • Offer physical affection: Hugs, cuddles, and holding hands can strengthen your bond.
  • Listen actively: Pay attention when your child speaks and show genuine interest in what they have to say.
  • Provide encouragement and praise: Acknowledge their efforts and celebrate their accomplishments.
  • Be patient and understanding: Remember that your child may need extra support as they adjust to their new family.

By implementing these strategies, you can cultivate a loving and supportive environment where your adopted child feels safe, secure, and cherished.

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