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What do adopted kids call their parents?

Published in Adoption Terminology 2 mins read

Adopted kids call their parents whatever feels most comfortable and natural to them; there isn't a single, universal term.

It's crucial to recognize that adoption is a diverse experience, and the terminology used is highly personal.

Terms Used by Adopted Children for Adoptive Parents

  • Mom and Dad: The most common and often preferred terms, signifying the parental bond and role these individuals play in the child's life.

  • Parents' First Names: In some cases, particularly with older adoptees or in less traditional family structures, using first names might be more comfortable.

Terms Used by Adopted Children for Biological/Birth Parents

One of the most empowering aspects of open adoption is the freedom for adoptees to choose how they address their birth parents. According to the reference provided:

  • Birth Mom/Birth Dad: To create a clear distinction while maintaining a sense of connection with their biological parents, some adoptees use the term "birth mom" or "birth dad".

  • First Name: Some adoptees feel more comfortable using their birth parent's first name, especially in open adoptions where a relationship exists.

Factors Influencing Terminology

Several factors influence the terms an adopted child uses:

  • Age at Adoption: Younger children typically adopt "Mom" and "Dad" naturally, while older children may need more time or prefer different terms.
  • Type of Adoption: In open adoptions, where contact with birth parents is maintained, different terms might be used to differentiate between adoptive and biological parents.
  • Personal Preference: Ultimately, the child's comfort and preference are paramount.

Importance of Respect and Open Communication

It is important to respect the adopted child's choice of terminology and maintain open communication about their feelings and preferences. Encouraging dialogue and understanding ensures that everyone feels comfortable and valued within the family dynamic.

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