Automatic Ear Detection settings are found within your AirPods settings on both iPhones/iPads and Macs. Specifically:
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On an iPhone or iPad: Go to Settings, tap the name of your AirPods near the top of the screen, then turn Automatic Ear Detection on or off.
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On a Mac: Choose Apple menu > System Settings, click the name of your AirPods in the sidebar, then turn “Automatic ear detection” on or off.