A girl should ask a boy in a first arranged marriage meeting questions that help her understand his values, personality, expectations, and compatibility for a long-term relationship.
Here's a breakdown of key areas and example questions:
Understanding His Personality and Values
- "What are you passionate about?" This reveals what drives him and what he finds meaningful.
- "What are some things you value most in life?" This uncovers his core principles (e.g., family, honesty, career, spirituality).
- "How do you typically spend your free time?" This offers insight into his hobbies and lifestyle.
- "What are some qualities you admire in others?" This reflects his own aspirations and ideals.
- "How would your friends describe you?" Provides an external perspective on his character.
- "Tell me about a time you faced a challenge and how you overcame it." This highlights his resilience and problem-solving skills.
Assessing Compatibility and Future Plans
- "What are your expectations for marriage?" Essential to gauge if your visions of married life align.
- "What are your future career goals and aspirations?" Crucial for understanding his ambition and stability. Also discuss your own goals.
- "Are you open to compromise and discussion in decision-making?" Important for a healthy and balanced relationship.
- "How important is family to you, and what role do you see them playing in our lives?" Understand his family dynamics and expectations.
- "What are your views on raising children, if we choose to have them?" Essential for long-term compatibility.
- "How do you envision sharing household responsibilities and finances?" Important for practical compatibility.
- "What are your thoughts on maintaining work-life balance?" Understanding his approach to a potentially shared life.
- "Where do you see yourself in five or ten years?" Offers insight into his long-term planning and stability.
Addressing Deal-Breakers and Concerns
- "Are there any specific lifestyle choices or habits that are important to you?" For instance, dietary restrictions, travel preferences, etc.
- "Are there any topics that are particularly sensitive or important for me to know about?" Open the door for him to share any relevant information.
- "Do you have any concerns or questions for me?" Allows him to voice his own uncertainties and ensures a two-way conversation.
Important Considerations:
- Be Yourself: Authenticity is crucial for a genuine connection.
- Listen Actively: Pay attention to his responses and ask follow-up questions.
- Share About Yourself: Don't just interrogate him; share your own thoughts and feelings.
- Trust Your Gut: How do you feel after the conversation? Trust your intuition.
- Don't be Afraid to Ask the "Difficult" Questions: Honest communication is essential from the start.
- Observe his body language: Nonverbal cues can provide additional insight.
