The best way to tell someone you are asexual is to be forthright and honest. Since many people aren't familiar with asexuality, clear and direct communication is crucial. Explain your feelings and lack of sexual attraction explicitly. If this person is a romantic partner, discuss how this might impact your relationship.
Here's a breakdown of how you might approach the conversation:
Steps to Explain Your Asexuality
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Choose the Right Time and Place: Select a time when both of you are relaxed and can talk without distractions.
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Start the Conversation: You might begin by saying something like, "There's something important I want to share about my sexuality."
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Explain Asexuality:
- Define asexuality in simple terms. For example: "Asexuality means I don't experience sexual attraction to anyone."
- Clarify that asexuality is a sexual orientation, just like being gay, straight, or bisexual.
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Share Your Personal Experience:
- Explain how asexuality affects you personally. Be honest about your feelings. For example, "I don't experience sexual desire for anyone and haven't felt that way. This is part of who I am".
- Emphasize that it is a natural part of your experience and not a phase or something that needs to be fixed.
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Discuss Implications for Your Relationship (If Applicable):
- If you are in a romantic relationship, address how this might affect your physical intimacy. For example, "This doesn't mean I don't want to be close to you, but it means the sexual element is not something I am going to pursue.”
- Reassure your partner that you value them and want the relationship, even though your experience with sexual attraction is different.
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Be Prepared to Answer Questions: People might have a lot of questions because they are not familiar with the term asexuality. Be patient and try to explain it further, if needed.
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Be Open to Ongoing Communication: This might not be a one-time conversation. Be open to discussing it as needed in the future.
Why Honesty is Important
- Clarity: Being direct and honest will help ensure there is no confusion.
- Respect: It shows that you respect the person enough to be open and transparent with them.
- Understanding: Openness helps the other person better understand you and your experience.
Example Conversation Starters
* "I've realized something important about myself that I want to share with you. It’s about my sexuality. I identify as asexual, which means I don't experience sexual attraction."
* "I've been doing some self-reflection, and I've come to understand that I am asexual, which means I don’t feel sexually attracted to anyone."
* "I need to talk to you about my sexuality and how it affects me. I am asexual, which means I experience no sexual attraction to others, and that has always been how I am."By being forthright and clear about your asexuality, you are taking the necessary steps to have a healthy relationship and help the other person understand you better.
