Children learn self-regulation through a developmental process that begins in toddlerhood and continues into adulthood, primarily through the support of adults and their environment. Here's a more detailed look:
The Development of Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is not an innate ability; it is learned and refined over time. It encompasses managing one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively. It develops most rapidly during the toddler and preschool years but continues evolving throughout life.
How Children Learn Self-Regulation
Several methods contribute to a child’s development of self-regulation:
- Talking: Engaging in conversations with children about their feelings and behaviors.
- For example, when a child is upset, ask them to describe what they’re feeling and why. This helps them to identify and understand emotions.
- Planning: Involving children in planning activities and routines.
- For example, before starting an activity, discuss the steps involved. This helps children to anticipate what comes next and manage their actions.
- Problem-Solving: Encouraging children to think through problems and find solutions.
- For example, instead of immediately solving a disagreement between children, guide them to find a solution themselves.
- Role-Modeling: Adults demonstrate self-regulation.
- Adults manage their own emotions, plan their actions, and problem-solve effectively in front of the children. This is one of the most potent ways a child learns how to regulate themselves.
| Method | Description | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Talking | Discussing feelings and behaviors | "I see you're feeling frustrated; let's talk about why." |
| Planning | Involving the child in planning and preparation | "Let's plan our next activity together." |
| Problem Solving | Encouraging the child to come up with solutions | "What can we do to solve this problem?" |
| Role Modeling | Showing effective self-regulation as an example for the child to follow. | Demonstrating calm responses to frustration, planning, and problem solving. |
Practical Insights
Here are some practical tips for helping children develop self-regulation skills:
- Create routines: Consistent routines provide predictability, making it easier for children to manage their behaviors.
- Use visuals: For younger children, visual schedules and charts can aid in understanding what's coming next, reducing anxiety and improving cooperation.
- Offer choices: Provide simple choices to give children a sense of control, which can help them manage their behavior.
- Teach coping skills: Help children learn strategies to manage big emotions, such as deep breathing or taking a break.
The reference states that “Self-regulation begins to develop rapidly in the toddler and preschooler years. It continues to develop into adulthood. Ways to develop your child's self-regulation include talking, planning, problem-solving and role-modelling.” This indicates that the above methods are key to a child learning how to self-regulate.
