Generally, it is not recommended for a 12-year-old to sleep with their parents.
According to clinical psychologist Liz Nissim-Matheis, it's best to end co-sleeping when a person reaches puberty, which usually happens around 11 years old. This transition is crucial because it coincides with significant bodily changes that require a different approach to personal space and boundaries. Continuing to co-sleep during this stage can hinder the development of independence and healthy personal boundaries.
Why Co-sleeping Should End Around Puberty:
- Bodily Changes: As children enter puberty, their bodies undergo significant changes. Co-sleeping might become awkward or uncomfortable due to these changes.
- Privacy: Teenagers need their own private space to develop a sense of self and independence. Sharing a bed with parents can limit this necessary privacy.
- Independence: Establishing a separate sleeping space fosters independence and encourages the child's transition into adolescence.
Considerations
While these guidelines are generally applicable, it's also important to consider the specific needs and circumstances of each family.
- Individual Needs: Some children may have unique needs that make co-sleeping more beneficial in the short term. However, it's essential to work towards transitioning to independent sleep as they grow.
- Cultural Differences: Different cultures may have varied practices regarding sleeping arrangements. It's important to be aware of these differences, but it is still important to consider the child's developmental stage.
- Communication: Open communication between parents and children is key to creating a comfortable and healthy sleeping environment for everyone.
Summary
In summary, while there might be exceptions based on individual circumstances, the general recommendation is that co-sleeping should end around the time a child reaches puberty. This is to provide them the necessary space and boundaries to support their emotional, psychological and physical development as they transition into adolescence. Given the average age of puberty, 12-year-olds should ideally be sleeping in their own space.
