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What to do if you see your child touching themselves?

Published in Child Development 3 mins read

It's important to approach the situation calmly and with understanding; you want to teach your children that exploring their bodies is normal.

Understanding Child Self-Exploration

It's natural for children to discover their bodies. This exploration includes touching themselves, and it's a normal part of development. Rather than reacting with anger or shame, it is important to foster an environment where they feel safe and comfortable.

How to React

Here’s a breakdown of what you can do when you notice your child touching themselves:

  • Stay Calm: Your reaction is crucial. Avoid showing anger, disgust, or any strong negative emotions. Children are very perceptive and can pick up on your feelings.
  • Normalize Exploration: According to the reference, it's crucial to "teach children that it's OK to explore their bodies." Let your child know that this is a normal part of growing up.
  • Privacy: Gently guide your child towards understanding where and when it's appropriate to explore their body. It's good to have a conversation about privacy.
  • Avoid Shame: Make sure you don't make the child feel bad or ashamed. Shaming them can lead to tension and negative feelings.

Practical Steps

Here are some practical steps to consider:

  1. Observe: Note where and when this happens. Is it in private or public? This will help you determine how to talk to your child about the situation.
  2. Talk about Body Parts: Use correct terminology for body parts. This helps normalize their body and removes any secrecy about it.
  3. Explain Privacy: Teach your child about personal space and private areas. This can be part of a larger conversation on body safety. For example, explain that it's okay to touch themselves privately but not in public places.
  4. Positive Reinforcement: Praise the child for talking to you about it. Create open communication to make it easier for them to ask questions in the future.

What to Avoid

  • Don’t get angry: Anger creates tension and teaches your child that their body is something to feel ashamed about.
  • Don't label it as "wrong": Avoid saying that what they are doing is "bad" or "wrong." This can lead to confusion, shame and feelings of anxiety.
  • Don’t overreact: A calm approach is key. Overreacting can make the child scared to talk to you about it in the future.
Action What to do
Initial Reaction Stay calm and avoid showing negative emotions.
Long Term Action Teach children that it's okay to explore their bodies.
Addressing the Child Have conversations about privacy and personal space.
Avoid Don't get angry or shame your child.

By reacting calmly, normalizing self-exploration, and focusing on privacy, you can help your child understand their body in a healthy way.

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