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Why Does My Kid Have a Crush?

Published in Child Development 3 mins read

Your child is likely experiencing a crush because they are entering puberty, which is when these intense infatuations often begin. As Jennifer A. explains, these crushes are partly due to "emerging sexual attraction" but are also "lived out in a fantasy world." Here's a more detailed breakdown:

Understanding Crushes in Children

Aspect Description
Puberty Trigger Crushes often emerge during the transition to puberty, which brings about hormonal changes and developing sexual awareness.
Idealization Children tend to idealize the person they have a crush on, seeing them as perfect or near-perfect.
Fantasy Element The crush often exists more in the child's imagination than in reality, with daydreams and fantasies playing a significant role.
Sexual Attraction While not fully formed, emerging sexual attraction is a factor driving these feelings, as explained by the reference.

Key Factors Contributing to a Crush:

  • Hormonal Changes: Puberty brings significant hormonal shifts that impact feelings and attractions.
  • Developing Identity: As children mature, they start exploring their preferences and desires.
  • Social Interactions: Observing and interacting with peers can spark feelings of attraction.
  • Media Influence: Movies, TV, and social media can also shape what a child finds appealing.

How a Crush Might Look:

  • Daydreaming: Your child might frequently daydream about the person they have a crush on.
  • Giddiness: They may become giggly or shy around the person they like.
  • Increased Interest: Your child might suddenly become very interested in the person's activities or interests.
  • Secretive Behavior: They may try to hide their feelings or talk about them only with close friends.

What to Expect and How to Respond:

  1. Be Supportive: Don't dismiss their feelings. Acknowledge that having a crush is a normal part of growing up.
  2. Encourage Healthy Perspective: Help them understand that the person they like is not perfect and has flaws like everyone else.
  3. Open Communication: Create a safe space where they can talk about their feelings without fear of judgment.
  4. Focus on Reality: Gently encourage them to see the person they like as a friend and focus on real interactions rather than just their fantasies.

By understanding the developmental stages of puberty and crushes, you can better support your child during this time. Remember, these feelings are a part of growing up and help your child explore their developing identity and feelings.

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