askvity

What does it mean when he says you talk too much?

Published in Communication Skills 3 mins read

It generally means he's no longer interested in what you're saying, but the reason behind that statement can vary.

Here's a breakdown of possible interpretations:

  • He's genuinely not interested: This could be due to a lack of shared interests or that he's simply not engaged in the conversation. It might be temporary or reflect a larger disconnect.

  • You're dominating the conversation: Are you allowing him to speak and share his thoughts? Imbalance in conversation flow can lead to this sentiment. It’s important to listen as much as you speak.

  • He finds your topics boring or irrelevant: While you might find a particular subject fascinating, he may not. Consider the context and his reactions to your choice of topics.

  • He's feeling overwhelmed: Especially if he's introverted, excessive talking can be draining. He might need time to process information.

  • He's indirectly communicating a deeper issue: Sometimes, "You talk too much" can be a way of saying, "I feel unheard," or "Our communication isn't working." It might signal a problem in the relationship that needs to be addressed directly.

  • He's simply being rude or dismissive: Unfortunately, some people use this phrase to shut down conversations or devalue your input. Consider his overall behavior towards you to assess if this is the case.

What you can do:

  1. Reflect on your communication style: Be honest with yourself about how much you talk and whether you tend to interrupt or dominate conversations.
  2. Ask for clarification: If you're unsure why he said it, gently ask him what he meant. For example, "Can you tell me more about why you feel that way? I want to understand."
  3. Observe his body language: Is he disengaged? Is he trying to change the subject? Pay attention to these cues.
  4. Practice active listening: Focus on what he's saying, ask questions, and show genuine interest in his thoughts and feelings.
  5. Be mindful of your topics: Try to choose subjects that you both enjoy and can contribute to.
  6. Respect his need for space: If he seems overwhelmed, give him time to process information and recharge.

Ultimately, understanding what he means requires careful consideration of the context, his personality, and your relationship dynamics.

Related Articles