Some people talk at you instead of with you for various reasons, often stemming from a combination of personality traits, communication styles, and underlying motivations.
Here's a breakdown of common reasons:
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Egotism and Self-Absorption: Some individuals are simply very focused on themselves and their own thoughts and experiences. They may not be particularly interested in, or aware of, the other person's perspective. They see the conversation as an opportunity to share their own stories and opinions, without much regard for reciprocal exchange. This can be a sign of narcissism or a general lack of empathy.
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Anxiety and Control: Domineering conversations can be a coping mechanism for anxiety. Some people use talking as a way to manage their nervousness or discomfort in social situations. By controlling the flow of conversation, they might feel more secure and less vulnerable. Their "rant" may actually be a way to process their anxieties aloud.
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Lack of Awareness: Some people are genuinely unaware of how their communication style affects others. They might believe they're being engaging and informative, without realizing they're dominating the conversation. They might not be skilled at reading social cues or recognizing when someone else is trying to speak.
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Power Dynamics: In some situations, talking "at" someone can be a way to assert power or dominance. This can be particularly evident in professional settings or in relationships where there's an imbalance of power. The person talking at you might be trying to establish their authority or control the situation.
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Habit and Learned Behavior: Some people may have learned this communication style from their upbringing or from observing others. If they grew up in an environment where one person always dominated conversations, they might unconsciously replicate that behavior.
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Simply a "Chatter": As the referenced material suggests, some people are just natural "chatters." They enjoy talking and may not always be mindful of whether the other person is actively engaged or contributing to the conversation.
In summary, being talked at instead of with often reflects the speaker's internal state, learned behaviors, or a deliberate attempt to control the interaction.
