Tell the person why you find them attractive and that you would like to get to know them better.
It can be intimidating, but expressing attraction to a stranger can be a positive experience if approached respectfully and genuinely. Here's a breakdown of how to convey your interest:
1. Gauge Their Availability and Openness:
- Non-verbal cues: Before saying anything, observe their body language. Are they making eye contact? Do they seem relaxed and approachable, or are they closed off (e.g., arms crossed, looking down)?
- Context matters: Consider the situation. Is this an appropriate time and place to approach someone? A quiet coffee shop is different from a crowded subway.
2. Initiate a Conversation:
- Start with a genuine observation or compliment (not about their looks). Comment on something you both share in that moment. For example, "This coffee is amazing," or "This band is really good!"
- Keep it light and friendly. The goal is to break the ice and see if there's a connection.
- Listen to their response. Are they engaging in the conversation, or do they seem uninterested?
3. Express Your Attraction (Subtly at First):
- Once there's a rapport, you can transition to expressing your interest.
- Highlight something you appreciate about their personality or what they've said. For example, "I'm really enjoying talking to you. You have a great sense of humor," or "I find your perspective on [topic] really interesting."
- Pay them a genuine compliment about their appearance, but keep it tasteful and respectful. For example, "I love your style," or "You have a kind smile." Avoid overly sexual or objectifying comments.
4. Make Your Intent Clear (Directly, But Respectfully):
- Now comes the direct approach (if you've received positive signals).
- State your interest and suggest a future interaction. For example, "I've really enjoyed talking to you. Would you be interested in grabbing coffee sometime?" or "I'd love to continue this conversation. Maybe we could [activity] sometime?"
- Be confident, but not pushy.
5. Respect Their Response:
- Prepare for any outcome. They might be flattered but not interested, or they might be enthusiastic.
- If they say no, respect their decision gracefully. Don't pressure them or take it personally. A simple "Thanks for your time," is sufficient.
Example Scenario:
You're at a bookstore, and you notice someone browsing the same section as you.
- Observe: They seem relaxed and are smiling as they read a book cover.
- Initiate: "That author is fantastic! Have you read any of their other books?"
- Engage: (After a brief conversation about the author) "I'm really enjoying this conversation with you. I admire your taste in literature."
- Be Direct: "Would you be interested in grabbing coffee sometime to discuss more books?"
- Respect: If they say yes, great! Exchange numbers. If they politely decline, say, "No problem. Enjoy your reading!"
Key takeaways:
- Be genuine: People can sense insincerity.
- Be respectful: Their comfort is paramount.
- Be confident: Projecting confidence is attractive.
- Be prepared for rejection: It's part of the process.
- Focus on connection: Building a genuine connection is more important than just physical attraction.
