A man might flirt and then ignore you for a variety of reasons, often related to testing your interest or managing his own feelings and options. The "lure and hook" strategy is one possible explanation.
Potential Reasons for the Behavior
Here's a breakdown of common reasons:
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Testing the Waters (The "Lure and Hook" Approach): He might be flirting to gauge your interest. Ignoring you afterwards allows him to see how you react – if you pursue him, he knows you're interested. This is a manipulative tactic in some cases. As the reference suggests, the act of flirting is the "lure," and the subsequent ignoring is the release to see how you react. This strategy provides insight into your feelings for him and how much effort you're willing to put in.
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Playing Games/Seeking Validation: Some people flirt simply for the attention and validation it provides. Once he's received that validation (by seeing you react positively to his flirtation), he may lose interest and move on to someone else.
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Uncertainty About His Own Feelings: He might be attracted to you initially but then become unsure about pursuing a relationship due to other commitments, fears, or doubts. The ignoring could be a way for him to create distance and evaluate his feelings.
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He's Already in a Relationship: Unfortunately, some individuals flirt even when they are already committed to someone else. The ignoring might be a way of distancing himself to prevent things from going too far or to avoid detection.
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He's Busy or Distracted: It's possible there's a genuine, less insidious reason. He could be dealing with work, family issues, or other stressors that take his attention away from pursuing a romantic interest. However, consistently ignoring someone after flirting is usually a red flag.
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Fear of Rejection: He might have flirted, enjoyed the interaction, but then backed off for fear of rejection or vulnerability. The ignoring could be a defense mechanism.
What to Do If This Happens
Instead of chasing after someone who ignores you, consider these steps:
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Evaluate Your Feelings: Do you genuinely like him, or are you simply intrigued by the attention?
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Don't Play Games Back: Responding with similar manipulative behavior can perpetuate a cycle of unhealthy interactions.
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Communicate Directly (If You Want): You can briefly and calmly express your confusion. For example, "I noticed you seemed interested, but then you pulled away. Is everything okay?" Be prepared for a potentially unsatisfactory answer.
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Move On: The most empowering thing you can do is to shift your focus to people who value your time and attention consistently. Focus on people who display reciprocal interest and respect.
Conclusion
A man's flirtatious behavior followed by ignoring you can stem from various reasons, ranging from manipulative tactics to personal insecurities. It's important to assess the situation, understand your own feelings, and prioritize your well-being by not engaging in unhealthy relationship patterns.
