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Do I tell a guy I'm a virgin?

Published in Dating Disclosure 3 mins read

Whether or not you tell a guy you're a virgin is a personal decision, but according to some experts, the third date might be a good time to consider sharing this information.

Deciding when and how to disclose your virginity is entirely up to you and depends on your comfort level and the dynamics of your relationship. There's no right or wrong answer, but here's a breakdown to help you decide:

Timing Considerations

The provided reference suggests considering the third date as a potential time to disclose this information. Here's why:

  • Building Connection: By the third date, you've likely established some level of connection and trust.
  • Gauging Intentions: You've had a chance to assess his intentions and whether he's looking for a serious relationship.
  • Potential Intimacy: The reference states that by the third date, the person you're dating "may be thinking of trying to go all the way," so it may be helpful to disclose before things get too far.

Factors to Consider Before Disclosing

  • Your Comfort Level: Are you comfortable talking about sex and your virginity with this person?
  • His Character: Has he demonstrated respect, understanding, and empathy?
  • Your Reasons: Why do you want to tell him? Are you seeking support, understanding, or to manage expectations?

How to Have the Conversation

  • Choose the Right Setting: Pick a private, comfortable, and relaxed environment where you can talk openly.
  • Be Direct and Honest: Clearly state that you're a virgin and explain how you feel about it.
  • Gauge His Reaction: Pay attention to his response. Is he supportive, understanding, and respectful?
  • Set Boundaries: Communicate your expectations and boundaries for the relationship moving forward.

Scenarios and Examples

Here are a few examples of how the conversation might go:

Scenario 1: Positive Reaction

  • You: "I wanted to share something with you. I'm a virgin, and it's important to me that you know this."
  • Him: "Thank you for sharing that with me. I appreciate your honesty, and it doesn't change how I feel about you. I respect your decision and boundaries."

Scenario 2: Less Than Ideal Reaction

  • You: "I wanted to share something with you. I'm a virgin, and it's important to me that you know this."
  • Him: "Oh, really? That's... unexpected." (If he seems judgmental or dismissive, it might be a red flag.)

Key Takeaway

Ultimately, the decision of whether and when to tell a guy you're a virgin is a personal one. Consider your comfort level, his character, and your reasons for sharing. The reference states that the third date "may be the best time," but it's more important to choose the time that feels right for you.

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