When caught lying, a man's reaction can vary, but a common tactic is to deflect blame and challenge your perception.
Common Reaction: Turning the Tables
As the reference points out, a man might try to turn the tables by accusing you of not trusting him. This is a form of manipulation aimed at shifting the focus away from his lie and onto your supposed lack of faith.
Why this approach?
- Avoidance: It’s a way to avoid confronting the lie directly.
- Guilt Induction: By making you question your own judgment, he hopes you'll feel guilty for questioning him.
- Control: It helps him regain control of the situation.
- Emotional Manipulation: It plays on your emotions, attempting to make you the problem rather than the lie itself.
Example
Imagine you confront a man about a discrepancy in his story. Instead of addressing the lie, he might respond with something like:
"Why would you even think I’d lie to you? Do you really not trust me at all?"
This quickly moves the focus from his dishonesty to your trustworthiness.
Other Possible Reactions
Although turning the tables is a notable reaction, men, like anyone else, may exhibit other reactions when caught in a lie. These can include:
- Denial: Insisting the lie never happened.
- Minimization: Admitting the lie but downplaying its significance.
- Rationalization: Attempting to justify the lie, often with excuses.
- Aggression: Becoming defensive, angry, or aggressive to intimidate you into dropping the matter.
- Silence: Refusing to discuss the issue and giving the "silent treatment."
- Changing the Subject: Abruptly changing the topic to distract from the lie.
How to Handle It
Knowing these reactions can help you manage the situation better:
- Stay Calm: Do not let emotional responses sway you.
- Stick to the Facts: Focus on the lie itself, not on his attempts to deflect.
- Call It Out: Acknowledge the tactic being used when you recognize it. For example, say something like, "I understand that you're accusing me of mistrust, but we need to address what you've told me that wasn't true".
- Seek Resolution: Insist on a conversation that involves honesty and accountability.
- Assess the Relationship: If lying and manipulation are recurring patterns, reconsider the relationship and set clear boundaries.
Conclusion
Understanding how someone might react when caught lying, particularly the deflection tactic of blaming the accuser for not being trusting, enables you to respond more effectively and stay true to your concerns.
