Bids for interaction are fundamental attempts to connect emotionally with another person.
Understanding Bids for Interaction
According to Gottman, bids are "the fundamental unit of emotional communication." At their core, they are simple requests to connect with someone, signaling a desire for attention, support, or shared experience.
These bids can manifest in many ways, ranging from small gestures to more overt actions. They are the building blocks of conversation and connection in any relationship.
Characteristics and Forms of Bids
Based on the provided reference, bids for interaction have several key characteristics:
- Size: They can be small (like a sigh) or big (like initiating a deep conversation).
- Modality: They can be verbal (using words) or nonverbal (using body language or expressions).
- Purpose: Their primary purpose is a request to connect.
- Forms: They can take various forms, including:
- An expression (e.g., a smile, a frown)
- A question (e.g., "How are you?")
- Physical outreach (e.g., a touch, a hug)
- Nature: They can be funny, serious, or even sexual in nature.
Examples of Bids for Interaction
Understanding what a bid looks like in practice can help you recognize them in your own interactions. Here are a few simple examples:
- Saying, "Look at that beautiful sunset!" (Verbal bid, sharing an experience)
- Reaching out to hold someone's hand (Nonverbal bid, physical outreach)
- Asking, "Did you see that funny meme?" (Verbal bid, initiating shared humor)
- Sighing audibly when feeling stressed (Nonverbal bid, expressing emotion that invites inquiry)
- Making eye contact and nodding at someone from across the room (Nonverbal bid, acknowledgement/connection)
Recognizing and responding to these bids (turning "towards" them) is crucial for fostering intimacy and strengthening bonds in personal relationships.
