You cannot directly "give" feelings to another person; feelings arise internally. However, you can express your own feelings and influence the feelings of others through your actions and words.
Understanding Feelings
It's important to differentiate between thoughts and feelings. As the reference mentions:
One way to help you differentiate your feelings from your thoughts is to put them into words by using the "I think vs. I feel" rule. Create a sentence: If you say something like "I feel embarrassed," then that's a feeling. You didn't think that you were embarrassed, you felt it.
This distinction is crucial. You cannot give someone a feeling of embarrassment; they have to experience it themselves. However, your actions or words may cause them to feel embarrassed.
Expressing Your Own Feelings
Verbal Communication
- Use "I feel" statements: Describe your emotions directly, such as "I feel happy" or "I feel sad."
- Be specific: Instead of saying "I feel bad," try "I feel disappointed" or "I feel frustrated."
- Avoid blaming: Express your feelings without accusing others. For example, instead of "You made me angry," say, "I feel angry when that happens."
Non-Verbal Communication
- Facial expressions: Show your feelings through your face.
- Body language: Maintain open and expressive posture.
- Tone of voice: Convey your feelings through the way you speak.
Influencing the Feelings of Others
While you can’t give feelings directly, you can certainly create an environment or interaction that is more conducive to specific emotions.
Through Your Actions:
- Kindness and support: Acts of kindness and support can make others feel valued and happy.
- Honesty and reliability: Being honest and dependable can build trust and security.
- Respect and empathy: Treating others with respect and understanding can create feelings of being understood.
Through Your Words:
- Positive affirmations: Words of encouragement can lift spirits and foster confidence.
- Active listening: Listening attentively can make others feel heard and valued.
- Empathetic statements: Acknowledging the emotions of others can create feelings of validation.
Practical Examples
| Action | Resulting Feeling (in others) |
|---|---|
| Giving a gift | Happiness, Appreciation, Love |
| Offering support | Relief, Comfort, Security |
| Being critical | Sadness, Anger, Insecurity |
| Ignoring someone | Loneliness, Neglect |
| Being kind and respectful | Valued, Respected, Safe |
Conclusion
You cannot give another person a feeling directly, but you can express your own feelings and influence the emotions of others through your actions, words, and the environment you create. By understanding and expressing your emotions and acting in a way that considers the feelings of others, you can have a positive influence on the emotional landscape around you.
