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What is the rule of 12 in psychology?

Published in Emotional Regulation 2 mins read

The "Rule of 12" is a simple but effective coping mechanism that helps you stay calm in the face of adversity. It suggests that you delay expressing anger or frustration until after 12 negative events have occurred. This strategy aims to prevent the exhaustion of constantly reacting to every setback and allows you to develop a more measured and resilient response to life's challenges.

The idea is that by refraining from venting your frustration after each small annoyance, you give yourself time to process the situation and avoid unnecessary emotional expenditure. This can lead to a more balanced and calm approach to dealing with difficult situations.

Examples:

  • You might be tempted to lash out at your coworker for forgetting to send a file, but according to the Rule of 12, you would hold back your anger. You would then be able to calmly address the issue without letting frustration escalate.
  • If you experience a series of small inconveniences like traffic jams, lost keys, and a flat tire, the Rule of 12 encourages you to remain calm and not let these minor events overwhelm you emotionally.

Practical insights:

  • The Rule of 12 isn't about suppressing your emotions but rather about finding a healthier way to express them.
  • It encourages a conscious approach to reacting to setbacks.
  • It promotes resilience and helps you maintain a more stable emotional state.

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