Anger, as a natural human emotion, is fundamentally okay to experience; the issue lies in how we react to it, not the feeling itself.
Understanding Anger
According to Dr. Reshawna Chapple, a therapist from Talkspace, "We are allowed to express anger because it is a natural emotion." The key takeaway here is that experiencing anger is a normal part of life. It is not inherently "bad" or "unhealthy." The issue emerges when anger is handled in destructive ways.
When Anger Becomes Problematic
It is not the feeling of anger that makes it negative, but the subsequent actions and behaviors. Here are some instances when anger becomes unhealthy:
- Aggression and Violence: When anger leads to physical or verbal abuse, it's no longer okay.
- Passive-Aggression: Expressing anger indirectly through sarcasm or negativity can damage relationships.
- Suppression: While feeling angry is natural, constantly suppressing anger can lead to other emotional problems.
- Outbursts: Explosive anger that comes out of nowhere and is disproportionate to the situation can be harmful to oneself and others.
Healthy Expressions of Anger
When anger can be deemed "okay" is when it is managed in a constructive manner. Here's how you can approach anger in a healthy way:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize that you are feeling angry. Don't try to deny or suppress it.
- Identify the Source: Figure out what is triggering your anger. Understanding the cause can help you deal with it more effectively.
- Communicate Assertively: Express your anger calmly and respectfully. Use "I" statements to communicate how you feel without blaming others.
- Find Healthy Outlets: Engage in activities that help you release anger, like exercise, journaling, or creative pursuits.
- Seek Professional Help: If you find it difficult to manage anger, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor.
Table of Healthy vs Unhealthy Anger
| Healthy Anger | Unhealthy Anger |
|---|---|
| Acknowledging the emotion. | Denying or suppressing the emotion. |
| Expressing the emotion assertively. | Reacting aggressively or passively aggressively. |
| Identifying the source of the emotion. | Blaming others without taking responsibility. |
| Managing anger through healthy outlets. | Exploding with uncontrollable outbursts. |
| Communicating feelings clearly and respectfully. | Resorting to violence or abuse. |
Ultimately, the important thing is to understand that anger is a natural emotion that needs to be acknowledged and managed in a healthy way. It's not about whether you feel anger, but what you do with it.
