You might stop talking when you're upset because your mind is trying to help you cope with overwhelming emotions. This is a form of emotional numbing, a coping mechanism that can arise when we are flooded with strong feelings.
Understanding Emotional Numbing
Emotional numbing can be an automatic response to intense emotional experiences. When faced with overwhelming upset, your brain may essentially "shut down" the verbal part of you, making it difficult to articulate your feelings or even engage in conversation. This is not a conscious choice, but rather a protective mechanism that your mind uses.
What Does This Look Like?
| Trigger | Reaction |
|---|---|
| Intense argument | Shutting down and becoming silent |
| Overwhelming sadness | Difficulty speaking or expressing oneself |
| Extreme frustration | Retreating into silence |
Impact of Emotional Numbing
While emotional numbing is a way to cope, it is not always a helpful long-term strategy. The reference states that:
It's something our mind does to help us cope when we're flooded with big emotions. Emotional numbing can have a significant impact on mental health, leading to feelings of detachment, apathy and a lack of interest in activities that once brought joy.
As such, understanding why you stop talking when upset can help you develop healthier ways to deal with your feelings.
Possible Effects:
- Detachment: Feeling disconnected from your own emotions and from the people around you.
- Apathy: Experiencing a lack of interest or motivation in things that used to be important to you.
- Communication Barriers: Difficulty expressing yourself to others, leading to misunderstandings.
- Relationship Strain: Challenges in maintaining healthy relationships due to communication difficulties.
How to Better Manage Emotional Upset
- Recognize the Pattern: Pay attention to the situations where you tend to go silent when upset. Recognizing when it happens is the first step to change.
- Practice Emotional Awareness: Try to identify the specific emotions you're experiencing. For example, are you feeling anger, sadness, fear, or something else?
- Develop Healthy Coping Strategies: Consider these alternatives to silence:
- Deep Breathing: Taking slow, deep breaths can help calm your nervous system.
- Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the present moment.
- Journaling: Writing down your feelings can be a helpful way to process them.
- Seeking Support: Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can provide valuable emotional support.
- Communicate Your Needs: When you feel upset, it can be helpful to tell the people around you that you need some time to process before talking.
- Professional Help: If you're struggling to manage your emotions on your own, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide guidance and support in developing healthier coping skills.
By understanding that your silence is a coping mechanism and actively working towards healthier responses, you can better manage your emotional reactions.
