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What if we treated death like birth?

Published in End-of-life planning 3 mins read

If we treated death like birth, we would actively prepare for it, focusing on the experience rather than just the event itself.

Planning for the End

Just as we plan for birth, anticipating the joy and challenges, we would similarly prepare for death. This preparation would involve not just practical arrangements, but also considering how we want to feel at the end of life.

Key Changes in Perspective

  • Emotional Preparation: We would make "death plans" that envision how we hope to feel as we approach the end of life. This would include emotional states, comfort levels, and our surrounding environment.
  • Active Engagement: Rather than passively letting death happen, we would engage with the process. This could mean choosing where we spend our last days, who we want with us, and what we wish to experience.
  • Acceptance & Anticipation: Like anticipating the arrival of a new life, we would come to accept death as a natural part of life. This would shift the focus from fear to a more peaceful acceptance.

Practical Aspects

Aspect Birth-like Approach Traditional Approach
Planning Detailed plans for emotional and physical experience Minimal planning, often reactive
Emotional Focus Desired feelings and experience Primarily legal and logistical matters
Preparation Active preparation and engagement Often passive and reactive to events
Perspective Natural transition, anticipated moment Frightening, unknown, and often avoided

Specific Actions

  • Making "Death Plans": Just like creating birth plans, we would outline how we would like the final days to go including our emotional state and comfort levels.
    • Example: Instead of a will focusing solely on legal matters, we would have a "death plan" stating how we wish to be remembered and how we want to feel during the transition.
  • Focus on Experience: We would prioritize the experience of dying itself and actively shape the process to align with our wishes.
    • Example: This might include choosing to die at home surrounded by loved ones or creating a peaceful environment.
  • Embracing the Unknown: Just as we don't know exactly how a birth will go, we would embrace the uncertainties of death while still shaping the experience as best as we can.
  • Open Conversations: Initiate conversations about death with loved ones to break down the taboo and foster acceptance.

Reference Information

According to the reference provided, if we treated death like birth, we would make death plans in which we imagined how we wanted to feel at the end — even if we rarely know precisely when that will be. And be prepared, even if death were to come to us suddenly.

Conclusion

By treating death like birth, we could shift the narrative surrounding it from something to be feared to something to be planned for and accepted, enriching the final chapter of life.

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