Whether or not you should ask her dad for his blessing (or "hand") in marriage is a personal decision.
According to the reference, while considered old-fashioned by some, it's a custom many people choose to follow since it offers a way for an individual to include their partner's family in the engagement and wedding process.
Here's a breakdown to help you decide:
Factors to Consider
- Her Family's Values: Is her family traditional? Do they value such gestures of respect? Understanding their cultural background and expectations is crucial.
- Your Relationship with Her Dad: Do you have a good relationship with her father? Is he likely to appreciate the gesture, or would it feel awkward or forced?
- Her Preferences: Most importantly, what does she think? Some women find it romantic, while others may view it as outdated and patriarchal. Discreetly gauge her feelings on the subject.
- Your Comfort Level: Are you comfortable asking? The request should feel genuine.
Pros
- Shows Respect: It demonstrates respect for her family and their role in her life.
- Builds Relationships: It can strengthen your relationship with her father.
- Tradition: Honors a tradition that many still value. As noted above, it's a chance to include the family.
- Potential Blessing: Receiving his blessing can provide added support and goodwill.
Cons
- Outdated Perception: Some may see it as outdated or sexist.
- Pressure: It could put undue pressure on the father, especially if he has reservations.
- Irrelevant: If you have a poor relationship with her father, or if she's not close to him, it might feel meaningless.
Decision-Making Table
| Factor | Yes | No |
|---|---|---|
| Traditional Family | Highly likely a good idea | Probably unnecessary |
| Good Relationship with Dad | Definitely consider it | Might be awkward, consider skipping |
| She likes the idea | Go for it! | Tread carefully, discuss it with her first |
| You're comfortable | It will feel genuine | Might feel forced, perhaps reconsider or practice |
Ultimately, the decision is yours. Weigh the factors, consider her preferences and family dynamics, and make the choice that feels right for you.
