If you feel your mother doesn't like you, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and seek support. Here's a breakdown of steps you can take:
Acknowledge Your Feelings
It's okay to feel hurt, confused, or sad. Acknowledging these emotions is the first step toward coping. Don't dismiss your feelings or try to minimize them.
Seek Support from Trusted Individuals
This is a crucial step for your well-being. According to the provided reference, it's vital to talk to a teacher, counselor, or other trusted person in your life about this toxic relationship, and let them know exactly what is going on at home. This external perspective can offer validation and guidance.
Who to Talk To:
- Teachers: They can provide a safe space and may have experience with similar situations.
- Counselors: They are trained professionals who can offer coping strategies and therapeutic support.
- Trusted Family Members: Aunts, uncles, grandparents, or older siblings can provide emotional support.
- Friends' Parents: Sometimes, an outside perspective from a trusted adult can be beneficial.
Understanding the Dynamics
Try to understand why you feel this way. Is it consistent behavior, specific incidents, or a general feeling? While you are not responsible for your mother's feelings or actions, understanding the potential reasons can help you process the situation.
Possible Reasons (Keep in mind these are possible and not excuses for unkind behavior):
- Stress: Your mother might be under immense stress from work, finances, or other personal issues.
- Unresolved Issues: She may be dealing with her own past traumas or unresolved conflicts.
- Different Expectations: There could be a mismatch between your expectations and hers.
- Mental Health: She might be struggling with a mental health condition that affects her behavior.
Focus on What You Can Control
You cannot change your mother's feelings or behavior directly, but you can control how you react and what you do to protect yourself.
Strategies for Self-Care:
- Set Boundaries: Determine what behaviors you will and will not tolerate.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind and understanding to yourself, especially during difficult times.
- Engage in Activities You Enjoy: Pursue hobbies and interests that bring you joy and help you de-stress.
- Limit Contact (If Necessary): If the relationship is consistently toxic, limiting contact might be necessary for your well-being.
Recognize Potential Abuse
According to the reference, a toxic mother telling a kid that they hate them is a form of abuse. It's important for you to remember that abuse is never your fault. Emotional abuse can take many forms, including:
- Constant criticism or belittling
- Name-calling and insults
- Manipulation and gaslighting
- Withholding affection or support
- Blaming you for their problems
If you are experiencing any form of abuse, it's crucial to seek help immediately from a trusted adult or a helpline.
Seek Professional Help
A therapist can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and heal from any emotional wounds. They can also help you navigate the complex dynamics of your relationship with your mother.
Remember It's Not Your Fault
It's crucial to internalize that your mother's feelings towards you are a reflection of her own issues, not a reflection of your worth as a person.
