The "girl code" refers to the unwritten rules of conduct among women, particularly concerning dating and relationships. According to Ellen Scott, it's essentially the guidelines for being a woman, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. These rules emphasize loyalty, support, and respect within female friendships, often prioritizing these bonds over romantic pursuits.
Key Principles of Girl Code:
- Dating Etiquette:
- No Dating a Friend's Ex: This is a cornerstone of the girl code. Pursuing a romantic relationship with a friend's former partner is generally considered a major violation, unless with the friend's explicit consent.
- No Dating an Ex's Friend: Similarly, dating someone who is a close friend of your ex is also typically off-limits.
- Loyalty and Honesty:
- Reporting Infidelity: If a friend's boyfriend is seen cheating, the girl code dictates that the friend should be informed. Withholding such information is viewed as a betrayal.
- Friendship First
- The goal is to protect the friendships and maintain trust amongst the group. Romantic relationships can come and go but the friendships should remain strong.
Examples of Girl Code in Practice:
| Scenario | Girl Code Action |
|---|---|
| Your friend's ex asks you on a date. | You politely decline and maybe even tell your friend. |
| You see your friend's boyfriend with someone else | You immediately tell your friend what you witnessed. |
| Your friend is unsure about pursuing a new relationship with a guy | You listen, offer support, and help her see her worth and make a decision |
Importance of the Girl Code
The girl code serves to:
- Maintain Friendships: It aims to protect the bonds of friendship from the potential drama of romantic conflicts.
- Build Trust: Following the girl code fosters a sense of trust and loyalty among women.
- Provide Support: It encourages women to support each other through the ups and downs of dating and relationships.
While some may find the girl code rigid or outdated, it continues to influence the behavior and expectations of many women. It’s based on valuing female friendships and prioritizing them, particularly over romantic interests that can cause tension. It's important to discuss these rules with friends and make sure everyone understands what's expected to avoid unnecessary conflict.
