Yes, people can still have feelings for their first love, although the intensity and nature of these feelings can vary greatly from person to person.
While experiences differ, it's not unusual to have lingering feelings. According to a 2018 article, it's normal to have lingering feelings about a first love, but many people eventually find closure and develop healthy relationships afterward. Each person's experience is unique, and for some, the impact of their first love may diminish over time.
Why First Love Can Be So Impactful
First love often holds a special place in our hearts due to several factors:
- Novelty: It's a new experience, filled with "firsts" – first kiss, first date, first real connection of that kind.
- Idealization: We often idealize our first love, seeing them as perfect and overlooking flaws.
- Emotional Intensity: Emotions are often heightened during adolescence and young adulthood, making the experience more intense.
- Formative Experience: First love shapes our understanding of relationships and what we desire in a partner.
Factors Influencing Lingering Feelings
The degree to which someone still harbors feelings for their first love depends on several factors:
- How the Relationship Ended: A traumatic or unresolved breakup can lead to lingering feelings.
- Time Passed: For some, the feelings fade with time, while for others, they can resurface periodically.
- Subsequent Relationships: Successful and fulfilling later relationships can diminish the impact of first love.
- Personal Growth: Personal development and changing priorities can alter feelings over time.
Can You Move On?
Absolutely. While remembering your first love is normal, it's essential to move on to form new, healthy relationships. Here are a few strategies:
- Acknowledge your feelings: Don't suppress them. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, then process it.
- Focus on the present: Invest in your current relationships and future goals.
- Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings.
- Avoid idealizing the past: Remember the relationship for what it was, not for what you wish it could have been.
- Find closure: Closure is not always possible with the other person. Seek internal closure through self-reflection and acceptance.
