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How do I know my gender?

Published in Gender identity 4 mins read

It's important to understand that gender is a deeply personal experience and not something that can be determined by external factors.

Understanding Sex vs. Gender

Before we delve further, let's clarify the difference between sex and gender:

  • Sex: This is a category assigned at birth based on the genitals a person is born with, as stated in the provided reference. The reference further details that this is also a classification found on proof of identity documents. Commonly, this includes female, male, or X. The ‘X’ option is sometimes used by individuals who do not identify as either female or male, or who prefer not to disclose their gender on official documents.
  • Gender: Gender is an individual's internal sense of being a man, a woman, both, neither, or somewhere else along the gender spectrum. It’s a feeling that is unique to each person.

Exploring Your Gender Identity

Figuring out your gender identity is a process of self-discovery. Here are some questions and approaches that might help:

Introspection and Reflection:

  • How do you feel? Pay attention to your emotions and feelings when you think about different genders. Do you feel a sense of belonging or discomfort with the gender you were assigned at birth?
  • What names and pronouns resonate with you? Imagine being referred to by different pronouns (he/him, she/her, they/them, or others). Which pronouns feel most authentic?
  • What are your thoughts about your appearance and expression? Consider what clothing, hairstyles, and overall presentation make you feel most comfortable and aligned with your identity. Do you feel drawn to masculine, feminine, or androgynous expression?
  • Journaling: Write down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to gender. This can be a valuable way to track your progress and notice patterns.
  • Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness to be more aware of your inner feelings and to identify and understand your personal sense of self.

Research and Community:

  • Learn about different gender identities: Research terms like cisgender, transgender, non-binary, genderfluid, and agender.
  • Connect with others: If you are comfortable, join online or in-person communities for people who are exploring their gender. Sharing experiences with others can be helpful and affirming.
  • Seek professional help: A therapist or counselor experienced in gender identity can provide support and guidance.

Things to Keep in Mind:

  • There is no right or wrong way to feel about your gender. Your feelings are valid.
  • Your identity may evolve over time, and that's okay.
  • Be patient and kind to yourself. Self-discovery takes time.
  • It's your experience: Focus on your feelings and what brings you comfort, not what others think or expect.

Table: Sex vs. Gender

Feature Sex Gender
Definition Assigned at birth based on genitals. An internal sense of identity.
Based On Biological characteristics. Personal feelings and identity.
Classification Male, female or X (sometimes used by those who don't identify as male or female) and on documents. Includes terms like man, woman, non-binary, genderfluid, agender etc.
Changeable? Typically not changed unless it changes to the 'X' category for someone who does not identify as either male or female. Can change or evolve over time as you explore and understand your identity.

Conclusion

Ultimately, you are the expert on your own gender. It’s about what feels right for you. Take the time to explore, reflect, and discover what resonates with your deepest sense of self.

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