Meeting a potential spouse before marriage in Islam is a nuanced issue, not a simple yes or no. The permissibility depends heavily on the intention and the manner of the meeting.
Permitted Meetings:
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With Proper Intentions and Conduct: Islam permits meeting a potential spouse before marriage if the purpose is to assess compatibility for marriage and the interaction remains appropriate and respectful. As stated in Asiana.tv, "Meeting a spouse before marriage is wholly permitted and allowed if done with the right intentions and appropriately."[1] This implies a focus on getting to know each other within the boundaries of Islamic teachings.
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In Public and with a Mahram (Chaperone): For women, the presence of a mahram (a close male relative) is often recommended for modesty and safety. Meeting in public places rather than private settings is also generally preferred to avoid any potential fitna (temptation or discord).
Prohibited Meetings:
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Leading to Fitna (Temptation): Islamqa.info warns that if conversations lead to arousal or enjoyment beyond the bounds of propriety, then interaction becomes prohibited. The emphasis is on avoiding any actions that could lead to haram (forbidden) activities.[2]
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Without the appropriate chaperone: Meeting a potential partner in private without a mahram is widely regarded as impermissible for women. This view is reflected in various discussions on the topic, including Reddit forums.[3,4]
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Sexual Relationship Before Marriage: Sexual intimacy of any kind before marriage is strictly haram in Islam. Several sources emphasize this point.[5,6]
In summary: Meeting a girl before marriage is not inherently haram. However, the circumstances must be carefully considered. The goal should always be to get to know someone for the purpose of a potential marriage, while maintaining modesty and avoiding actions that could lead to fitna. The presence of a mahram (for women) and public settings are generally recommended for added safety and propriety.
[1] Asiana.tv, "Halal Dating: What Is It, And Does Islam Permit It?", Aug 21, 2023.
[2] IslamQA, "Chatting Before Marriage in Islam", https://islamqa.info/en/answers/13791/chatting-before-marriage-in-islam
[3] Reddit, "Can I meet a potential spouse in public without a mahram, even if...", Jul 1, 2023.
[4] Reddit, "Can a guy & girl meet in a public place (like restaurant or coffee...", Aug 11, 2022.
[5] Quora, "Can you meet before marriage in Islam?", Mar 27, 2022.
[6] Quora, "Since dating is haram, how could a Muslim meet and even get to know their future spouses...", Feb 9, 2022.
