The "3 Date Rule" in Korea is a dating custom where after going on three dates with someone you are in a sseom with, it's considered proper etiquette to become officially exclusive, essentially transitioning into a committed relationship.
Understanding the 3 Date Rule
In Korean dating culture, sseom (썸) refers to that ambiguous period between initial interest and a defined relationship. The 3 date rule provides a framework for navigating this stage.
- Purpose: The rule encourages both parties to evaluate their compatibility within a reasonable timeframe.
- Exclusivity: During the sseom, it's generally understood that you are only getting to know each other. The 3 date rule accelerates the decision to commit exclusively.
- Transition: Successfully completing three dates implies a mutual interest strong enough to warrant a relationship.
- Benefits: By defining the relationship sooner, emotional investment is clarified, and expectations are better managed.
How the 3 Date Rule Works
The process typically involves:
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Initial Meeting: Expressing mutual interest.
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Sseom Phase: Dating, getting to know each other. During this phase, it's generally understood that you are only getting to know this person.
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Three Dates: Intentionally spending time together to assess compatibility.
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Decision Point: After the third date, either:
- Become Exclusive: Agree to be in a committed relationship.
- End the Sseom: Decide not to pursue a relationship.
Practical Considerations
- Communication is Key: Explicitly discuss expectations after the third date to avoid misunderstandings.
- Flexibility: The rule serves as a guideline, but adapting to individual circumstances is essential.
- Compatibility: Evaluate whether you genuinely see a future with the person.
