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Why is 23 a Difficult Age?

Published in Life Stage Challenges 3 mins read

23 is often considered a difficult age because of the immense pressure individuals feel to have their lives sorted out.

The Pressure of "Adulting"

The primary reason 23 can feel difficult is the intense societal pressure to achieve certain milestones, creating a sense of inadequacy for those who haven't met them yet. This pressure often stems from the perception that by 23, you should have a clear career path, a university degree, and a stable personal life. However, this is rarely the reality for many people. As the reference states, "Because you think you're supposed to have a degree, career and life figured out and you don't. It's like a weird age of still feeling like a child but being forced into adulting."

Specific Challenges at 23

  • Career Uncertainty: Many individuals at 23 are either graduating from college or are a few years into their first job. They may be unsure if they've chosen the right path and often experience job insecurity.
  • Education Expectations: Society often dictates that by 23, one should have a college degree. This expectation can create stress for those who chose not to go to college or are still working towards it.
  • Financial Independence: Achieving full financial independence is a huge milestone, and at 23, many are struggling with managing rent, bills, and other living expenses.
  • Life Planning: There's an unspoken expectation that by 23, you should have a clear idea of where you want to live, your relationship status, and future goals. This pressure can be overwhelming and cause significant anxiety.
  • The Feeling of Being Between Stages: This is a time when many people feel caught between the freedom of childhood and the responsibilities of full adulthood, leading to internal conflict and stress.

Navigating This Phase

It is essential to understand that these pressures are largely societal constructs. Here are a few ways to navigate this phase:

  • Focus on Personal Growth: Instead of focusing on what you think you should be doing, prioritize your own well-being and personal development.
  • Embrace Uncertainty: It is okay not to have everything figured out. Allow yourself the time and space to explore your interests and passions.
  • Build a Support System: Talk to friends, family, or mentors about your anxieties and challenges. Seeking support can provide relief and perspective.
  • Set Realistic Goals: Instead of aiming for perfection, set small, achievable goals that will help you progress at your own pace.
  • Reframe Your Definition of Success: Success is not a linear path; redefine it based on what is meaningful and fulfilling to you personally.

Table of Key Pressures at 23

Pressure Description Impact
Career Path Expectation to have a defined career Job insecurity, career dissatisfaction, anxiety
Education Pressure to have a degree Feeling inadequate, educational debt, life plan uncertainty
Financial Stability Expectation to be fully independent Financial stress, inability to meet living expenses, lack of savings
Life Milestones Perceived pressure to be married, settled, and have a clear plan Emotional pressure, anxiety, fear of missing out
Adulting Forced to balance responsibilities while feeling young. Feeling lost, lack of direction, identity uncertainty

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