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Is Romantic Love a Feeling or a Choice?

Published in Love: Feeling & Choice 2 mins read

Romantic love is both a feeling and a choice. While initial attraction might be driven by feelings, sustaining and nurturing a romantic relationship requires consistent conscious choice.

The Feeling Aspect of Romantic Love

  • The initial spark of romantic love often involves intense emotions and physical sensations. These feelings are largely involuntary and can be powerful and overwhelming.
  • These feelings are influenced by biological and psychological factors like hormones, neurotransmitters, and individual personality traits.
  • However, feelings alone are not sufficient to maintain a long-term relationship. They fluctuate and can ebb and flow over time.

The Choice Aspect of Romantic Love

  • Choosing to love someone involves committing to the relationship, despite challenges or changing feelings. This is a conscious decision to prioritize the relationship and work through difficulties.
  • This choice manifests in everyday actions: prioritizing your partner, making time for them, offering support, and actively communicating.
  • As stated in multiple sources, "Love can exist with and without feeling, but never without choice." This highlights the enduring power of conscious commitment in sustaining a relationship. Even when feelings diminish, the choice to remain committed keeps the relationship alive.
  • Many sources emphasize that while feelings are important, they are not the sole determinant of a relationship's success. Actions and conscious choices play a crucial role.

Examples:

  • A couple might initially experience intense passion (feeling), but maintaining their bond requires consistent effort, understanding, and compromise (choice).
  • Facing conflict, choosing to communicate effectively and resolve issues rather than withdrawing demonstrates the choice element of love.

Conclusion: The consensus across various sources is that romantic love encompasses both intense feelings and conscious, consistent choices. The choice to nurture and maintain the relationship is crucial for its longevity.

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