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Is it OK to Marry Someone You Are Not Physically Attracted To?

Published in Marriage and Attraction 3 mins read

Whether it's "OK" to marry someone you are not physically attracted to is a complex and deeply personal question, lacking a universal "yes" or "no" answer. However, a complete lack of physical attraction can be problematic, while prioritizing physical attraction above other crucial factors is a risky approach.

The Role of Physical Attraction

Physical attraction is undeniably a component of most romantic relationships. It can contribute to:

  • Desire and Intimacy: It often fuels passion and physical intimacy.
  • Initial Connection: It can be a significant factor in the initial spark and interest in getting to know someone.
  • Overall Satisfaction: While not the sole determinant, physical attraction can contribute to overall relationship satisfaction for some individuals.

The Pitfalls of Overemphasizing Physical Attraction

Building a relationship solely or primarily on physical attraction is generally considered unwise. As the reference material suggests, doing so is like building on sand.

  • Superficiality: Physical attraction alone doesn't guarantee compatibility, shared values, or emotional connection.
  • Fading Attraction: Physical appearance changes over time. Relying solely on looks leaves the relationship vulnerable.
  • Neglect of Important Factors: Overemphasizing physical attraction can lead to neglecting other critical aspects like communication, trust, respect, and shared goals.

The Importance of Deeper Connections

Lasting relationships are typically built on a foundation of:

  • Emotional Intimacy: Feeling safe, understood, and accepted by your partner.
  • Shared Values: Having similar beliefs and principles that guide your life.
  • Compatibility: Enjoying each other's company and having similar interests.
  • Respect and Trust: Treating each other with kindness, honesty, and consideration.
  • Communication: Openly and honestly expressing your thoughts and feelings.

Finding a Balance

Ideally, a healthy relationship involves a balance between physical attraction and deeper connections. Ask yourself:

  • What is my definition of physical attraction? Attraction can evolve over time and encompass more than just physical appearance. Consider personality, humor, and shared experiences.
  • Am I comfortable with the level of physical intimacy? A complete lack of physical attraction could lead to issues with intimacy and sexual satisfaction in the long run.
  • Are the other aspects of the relationship strong enough to compensate? If you have a deep emotional connection, shared values, and mutual respect, a lower level of initial physical attraction might be manageable.

Conclusion

Marrying someone you are completely unattracted to might lead to significant issues. However, if the lack of strong initial physical attraction is balanced by a profound emotional connection, shared values, and a deep friendship, it's possible to build a fulfilling and lasting relationship. Prioritize a strong foundation over fleeting physical attraction.

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