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What to do before asking a girl to marry you?

Published in Marriage Preparation 4 mins read

Before proposing marriage, it's crucial to prepare yourself and your relationship. Here's a breakdown of essential steps:

Key Preparations Before Proposing

Before you pop the question, consider these key areas to ensure you’re both ready for this big step.

1. Self-Reflection: Understanding Your Feelings

  • Reflect on your emotions: As noted in the references, you must "reflect on your feelings." This means honestly assessing your readiness for marriage. Are you genuinely excited about spending your life with her? Or are there doubts you need to address?
  • Understanding your reasons: Why do you want to marry her? Is it out of societal pressure, fear of being alone, or is it truly because you envision a future together?
  • Assess your level of commitment: Marriage requires a deep level of commitment. Are you ready to dedicate yourself to her for life and work through the ups and downs together?

2. Open Communication: Talking About The Future

  • Discuss long-term goals: Have you talked about the future? The reference advises to "Talk About the Future." This means discussing where you see yourselves in the next 5, 10, and 20 years regarding your career, family, finances, living arrangements, and life aspirations. It's essential to ensure you're aligned on the major life decisions.
  • Talk about marriage values: Understand your and her values on marriage, family roles, and responsibilities. Do you both have similar views on finances, raising children, and expectations?
  • Address concerns openly: If there are any concerns about the relationship that might be amplified by marriage, it’s time to acknowledge and work through them.

3. Setting the Scene: Choosing the Right Moment

  • Pick a comfortable setting: Choose a private and comfortable setting, as our references point out to "Choose the Right Moment". You’ll want to be in a place where you both feel at ease and can express your emotions freely.
  • Avoid distractions: This is a moment for just the two of you so ensure it's a setting where you will not be disturbed.
  • Be thoughtful: The location and the time should reflect how important this moment is to you. Consider what's meaningful for both of you.

4. Honesty and Sincerity

  • Be genuine: The most important aspect is to "Be Honest and Sincere". Express your feelings truthfully and without any pretense.
  • Speak from the heart: Let your words reflect the depth of your love and commitment.
  • Prepare your speech: Have a clear idea of what you want to say when proposing. It doesn't have to be scripted, but you'll want to be able to articulate your feelings.

Summary Table

Step Description Importance
Self-Reflection Assess your feelings and motivations for marriage. Ensures you are personally ready and have the right intentions.
Future Discussion Talk about your long-term goals and shared vision for the future. Avoids future conflicts arising from mismatched expectations.
Moment Choice Select a private and comfortable setting. Makes the proposal more meaningful and memorable.
Honesty Be sincere and speak from the heart about your love and commitment. Ensures the proposal reflects your genuine emotions.

By covering these important areas, you'll be better prepared for proposing and increase the likelihood of a successful and joyous start to your marriage.

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