Yes, according to experts, kids do end up like their parents to a 100 percent extent, as we "incubate" our parents' tendencies. This means that we will inevitably mimic some of our mother or father's behaviors.
How Parental Tendencies Influence Children
Although it might not be exactly what everyone wants to hear, the influence of parents on children is substantial. Below are some common ways this happens.
- Behavioral Patterns: Children often pick up on the behavioral patterns of their parents, such as how they handle stress, communicate, or interact socially.
- Habits: Daily habits, like diet, exercise, and even tidiness, can be inherited simply by observing and living with parents.
- Beliefs and Values: Parental beliefs and value systems are naturally transferred to their children. This can be through direct instruction or simply by observing the family dynamic.
The Role of Environment
While genetics undoubtedly play a part, the environment in which a child grows is incredibly crucial. Here's how different aspects can affect this:
The Home Environment
A nurturing, stable home environment can lead to positive traits being passed down, while a turbulent environment can lead to different results. For example:
- Communication: A home where open and honest communication is valued will likely result in children who communicate well.
- Emotional Regulation: Parents who manage their emotions well will model healthy emotional regulation for their kids.
- Social Skills: Parents who engage in positive social interaction can help their children build strong social skills.
How to Make Positive Changes
Even if you don’t want to adopt the negative aspects of your upbringing, understanding that you might is the first step. Then it's about conscious effort:
- Self-Awareness: Be aware of the tendencies you have adopted.
- Conscious Effort: Work actively to change habits or tendencies you don't want.
- Therapy: Seeking professional help can be very beneficial for both individuals and families.
Conclusion
The notion that kids end up like their parents is not necessarily a bad thing, but rather a reflection of the powerful influence of parental behaviors and tendencies. As Arielle Schwartz points out, there is 100% likelihood that we absorb these traits to some degree. Being mindful of these dynamics and consciously working to create positive environments can help in developing desired traits, which is the point of being a positive influence in your child’s life.
