CPS in parenting refers to Collaborative Problem Solving, a method designed to address challenging behaviors in children by teaching them missing skills and improving relationships with the adults in their lives.
Understanding Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS)
Collaborative Problem Solving, or CPS, is a distinct approach to parenting that shifts away from traditional reward and punishment systems. Instead, it focuses on identifying the unmet needs and skill deficits that contribute to a child's challenging behavior. The emphasis is on working with the child to find mutually acceptable solutions rather than simply imposing adult authority.
Key Principles of CPS
- Challenging behaviors are not intentional: CPS assumes that children exhibit challenging behaviors because they lack the skills needed to handle a situation differently. These skills could include things like:
- Problem-solving
- Flexibility
- Frustration tolerance
- Communication
- Collaboration is key: Rather than being adversarial, CPS seeks to create a partnership between parents and children, leading to solutions that work for everyone.
- Focus on skills: The goal isn't just to stop the behavior, but to teach the child the underlying skills that will prevent future issues.
How CPS Works in Practice
Here's how CPS might look in a real-world parenting scenario:
- Identifying the Problem: Rather than reacting to a tantrum, a parent using CPS would first try to understand why it’s happening. What specific expectations or situations are consistently causing distress?
- Understanding the Child's Perspective: The parent actively listens to the child’s concerns, helping the child articulate their experience.
- Collaboratively Find Solutions: Together, parent and child brainstorm solutions that meet both their needs.
- Implementing and Monitoring: A chosen solution is then put into practice, with the parent and child continuously checking in and adapting as needed.
Benefits of CPS
According to the reference, the CPS approach has several notable benefits:
- Reduces Challenging Behavior: By addressing the root cause of the behavior, CPS leads to more sustainable change.
- Teaches Missing Skills: Children learn crucial life skills, like problem-solving and communication, that can improve their overall functioning.
- Builds Stronger Relationships: Working together creates a sense of trust and mutual respect, fostering stronger parent-child relationships.
Applying CPS in Your Family
Here are some practical steps to apply CPS in your family:
- Be Patient: Changing your parenting approach takes time.
- Learn to Listen: Listen actively to your child's perspective.
- Practice Problem-Solving: Help your child practice problem-solving strategies.
- Be Flexible: Be ready to adjust your approach as needed.
By implementing CPS, parents can effectively address challenging behaviors while building stronger, more collaborative relationships with their children.
