A "xem" is a gender-neutral pronoun, functioning similarly to "him" or "her" but used by individuals who identify as nonbinary or genderqueer. These individuals don't exclusively identify as male or female and may use "xem" to better reflect their gender identity.
Understanding Gender-Neutral Pronouns
Gender-neutral pronouns are essential for inclusivity and respect. They allow individuals to express themselves authentically and avoid misgendering, which can be hurtful and invalidating. "Xem" is one of several gender-neutral pronouns, and its usage signifies a conscious effort to acknowledge and respect diverse gender identities.
How "Xem" Functions Grammatically
"Xem" functions in a sentence just like "him" or "her." Here's a comparison:
| Pronoun Set | Subject | Object | Possessive Adjective | Possessive Pronoun | Reflexive |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| He/Him/His | He | Him | His | His | Himself |
| She/Her/Hers | She | Her | Her | Hers | Herself |
| Xe/Xem/Xyr | Xe | Xem | Xyr | Xyrs | Xemself |
Example:
- "That's Alex. I like xem. I borrowed xyr book, and Alex is holding it xyrself."
Alternatives to "Xem"
It's important to remember that not all nonbinary people use the same pronouns. Other common gender-neutral pronouns include:
- They/Them/Their: While traditionally plural, "they/them" is widely accepted and used as a singular gender-neutral pronoun.
- Ze/Zir/Zirs: Another set of pronouns with increasing recognition.
Why Use Gender-Neutral Pronouns?
Using someone's correct pronouns demonstrates respect and validates their identity. If you're unsure of someone's pronouns, it's always best to ask politely. You can also include your pronouns in your email signature or social media profiles to normalize the practice.
Respectful Usage
- Ask: If you're unsure of someone's pronouns, politely ask. For example, "What pronouns do you use?"
- Use: Consistently use the pronouns someone has requested.
- Correct: If you make a mistake, apologize briefly and correct yourself. For example, "I meant to say they."
- Advocate: Encourage others to respect people's pronouns.
