No, we cannot consciously control who we are attracted to.
Attraction seems to be a largely subconscious process. As indicated in the provided reference, "We don't consciously tell our brain to generate attraction to particular people; it does it on its own." This suggests that attraction arises spontaneously, much like other involuntary responses. Think of it like salivating when you see a delicious dessert; it's a natural reaction that happens without conscious effort.
Here's a breakdown of why controlling attraction is difficult:
- Subconscious Processes: Attraction is deeply rooted in subconscious processes that are difficult to consciously influence.
- Involuntary Response: Like a reflex, attraction often occurs without conscious thought or intention. We don't choose to be attracted in the same way we choose what to eat for dinner.
- Complex Factors: Many factors influence attraction, including physical appearance, personality traits, shared interests, and even subtle cues like pheromones. These factors interact in complex ways, making it difficult to pinpoint and control the source of attraction.
While we cannot directly control who we are initially attracted to, it's important to differentiate between initial attraction and building a relationship. We can consciously choose how we respond to our attractions and whether or not to pursue a relationship with someone.
