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Is it cheating if you text your crush?

Published in Relationship Boundaries 2 mins read

Whether texting your crush constitutes cheating depends on the nature of the texts and your relationship agreements.

Understanding Emotional Cheating through Texting

The core issue revolves around what constitutes emotional cheating. According to the provided reference, texting someone else can be considered emotional cheating.

Tech is a big part of our bonding experience with our partners, which is why texting another person can be considered emotional cheating.

This definition suggests that if your texting with your crush involves behaviors that undermine the emotional bond with your partner, it could be viewed as cheating.

Factors Determining if Texting a Crush is Cheating

To determine if texting your crush is considered cheating, consider these factors:

  • Relationship Agreements:
    • What are the agreed-upon boundaries in your relationship regarding communication with others? Explicitly discuss what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable.
  • Nature of the Texts:
    • Flirting or More: Is the texting purely platonic, or does it involve flirting, sharing intimate details, or emotional intimacy that would typically be reserved for your partner? The reference points out that "full-on flirting - or more" via text can be considered emotional cheating.
  • Intent and Secrecy:
    • Are you hiding these conversations from your partner? Are you engaging in these texts with the intent to seek emotional fulfillment outside your primary relationship?

Scenarios and Examples

  • Scenario 1: Harmless Banter: Occasional, light-hearted texting with a crush that doesn't involve emotional intimacy or secrecy is less likely to be considered cheating.
  • Scenario 2: Emotional Affair: Constant, deep, and emotionally charged texting with a crush that includes flirting, sharing personal details, and hiding the conversations from your partner is more likely to be considered emotional cheating.

Practical Insights

  • Communicate with Your Partner: Open and honest communication about your feelings and interactions with others is crucial.
  • Self-Reflection: Examine your motivations. Why are you texting your crush, and what are you hoping to gain from it?
  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for yourself and your partner regarding communication with others.

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