Yes, you absolutely can be best friends with your partner, but it is not the only way to have a strong and successful relationship.
According to psychologist Scott Bea, PsyD, “Having a partner who is your best friend can be sweet, but it doesn't have to be that way.” This perspective highlights that while the combination of partner and best friend is a positive possibility, it isn't a mandatory component for a thriving connection.
Exploring the Possibility
Many couples find that their partner is also their closest confidante, the first person they want to share news with, and their go-to for support and fun. This blend of romantic partnership and deep friendship can create a strong foundation built on trust, shared interests, and mutual understanding.
What Being "Best Friends" Might Look Like:
- Sharing intimate thoughts and feelings openly.
- Having inside jokes and unique shared experiences.
- Prioritizing spending leisure time together.
- Offering unwavering support during tough times.
- Enjoying simple everyday moments together.
Challenging the Cultural Norm
The idea that your partner must be your best friend is a prevalent cultural notion. However, as Dr. Bea notes, “Culturally, we have this idea that our spouse should be our best friend — but there's no single template for a successful marriage.” This is a crucial point because it validates different relationship structures and dynamics.
Different Relationship Templates
A successful partnership can take many forms. For some, the best friend role is filled by siblings, long-time friends, or other family members, while the partner fulfills different, equally vital roles like lover, co-parent, or life partner.
- Scenario 1: Partner is also the primary best friend.
- Scenario 2: Partner fulfills romantic and partnership roles; close friends fulfill the best friend role.
- Scenario 3: A combination where the partner is a very close friend, but not necessarily the sole or primary best friend.
Each of these structures can be equally healthy and fulfilling, as long as the needs of the individuals and the partnership itself are being met through trust, respect, and communication. The key is compatibility and mutual satisfaction with the chosen dynamic, rather than adhering to a single prescribed ideal.
