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Why Does My Wife Push Me Away When I Touch Her?

Published in Relationship Intimacy 3 mins read

Your wife might push you away when you touch her because she may be experiencing a fear of intimacy.

Understanding the Fear of Intimacy

According to the reference, pushing people away can be a defense mechanism for individuals who are afraid of getting hurt in relationships. This behavior, which manifests as avoiding intimacy, is not a reflection of you but rather an internal struggle she might be facing.

Key Points About Fear of Intimacy

  • Defense Mechanism: Pushing away can act as a protective barrier to shield her from vulnerability and potential pain.
  • Avoidance: She might avoid physical touch as a way to control closeness and prevent emotional discomfort.
  • Not About You: It's important to recognize that this behavior usually stems from her past experiences or emotional state, not from a lack of love or attraction towards you.

Possible Causes

While we cannot pinpoint the exact cause without further context, here are common reasons someone might fear intimacy:

Cause Description
Past Traumatic Experiences Previous hurt or trauma can cause someone to develop a fear of intimacy as a way to protect themselves from experiencing such pain again.
Insecure Attachment Style If she had inconsistent or unreliable caregiving during childhood, she may have an insecure attachment style which makes her fear being emotionally vulnerable.
Emotional Vulnerability Expressing emotions can feel scary for some people, and avoiding intimacy might be a way to prevent those vulnerable feelings from surfacing.
Low Self-Esteem Feeling unworthy of love and affection can lead to pushing away intimacy, as they don’t feel they deserve the closeness.

What You Can Do

While you cannot force your wife to open up, you can create a safe space for her:

  • Open Communication: Initiate gentle and supportive conversations about her feelings. Let her know you're there for her without judgment.
  • Seek Professional Help: Suggest couples therapy or individual therapy for her. It can offer guidance and coping strategies for her intimacy issues.
  • Patience: Remember that overcoming the fear of intimacy is a journey, and patience and understanding are key.

Summary

In conclusion, your wife pushing you away when you touch her may stem from a fear of intimacy, which acts as a defense mechanism. This fear can be rooted in various experiences or emotional vulnerabilities. Being patient and encouraging open communication, and seeking professional help, can aid in navigating this issue.

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