askvity

What to do when he avoids seeing you?

Published in Relationship Issues 3 mins read

When someone avoids seeing you, addressing the issue directly can lead to resolution. One effective approach is to calmly communicate your feelings and collaboratively find a solution.

Here's a breakdown of strategies based on the provided reference:

Communication is Key

  • Bring it to his attention: Don't ignore the avoidance. Acknowledge it.
    • Choose a time and place where you can both speak freely without interruptions.
  • Express your feelings: Clearly and calmly explain how his avoidance makes you feel.
    • For example, you could say, "When you avoid seeing me, it makes me feel like..."
  • Avoid aggression: Focus on expressing your feelings rather than placing blame. A calm and respectful approach will be more productive.

Collaborative Problem Solving

  • Open Dialogue: Engage in a two-way conversation. Both parties should be able to share their perspectives.
    • Example: "I've noticed you've been a bit distant lately, and it's been making me feel a little uncertain. Is there anything going on you'd like to talk about?
  • Suggest solutions: Work together to find solutions.
    • You can both propose ways to address the avoidance and create more comfort in the relationship.
  • Listen actively: Pay attention to his perspective. Try to understand his point of view.

Practical Steps to Consider

Step Description Example
Acknowledge the Avoidance Notice the avoidance pattern, and acknowledge it is happening "I've been noticing that we haven't been seeing each other as much."
Express Your Feelings Communicate how the avoidance is making you feel. "When that happens, I feel a little insecure."
Propose a Solution Suggest ways that you could both work towards more engagement. "Maybe we could schedule more dedicated time together, or communicate more frequently?"
Be Open to Feedback Actively listen to his explanation and thoughts on the situation. "I'd like to understand better what's going on from your perspective"

Important Considerations

  • Be Patient: Resolving relationship issues takes time and effort from both sides.
  • Be Open to Adjustments: Be willing to compromise and find a solution that works for both of you.
  • Self-Reflection: Reflect on your own actions and behaviors to make sure you are also not contributing to the problem.

By addressing the issue with open communication and collaborative problem-solving, you can increase the chances of a positive outcome.

Related Articles