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Is it normal to love your exes?

Published in Relationships 2 mins read

Yes, it is completely normal to still love your exes.

It's understandable to maintain feelings for someone you once shared a deep connection with, even after the relationship has ended. Love doesn't simply vanish overnight, and the bond you built with your ex likely involved significant emotional investment, shared experiences, and a deep understanding of one another. It's particularly common when the relationship involved a strong emotional connection and significant shared history. Even as you move on and potentially develop feelings for someone new, the love you felt for your ex can linger.

Here's why it's common to still love an ex:

  • Emotional Investment: Relationships involve substantial emotional investment. Years, or even months, of sharing intimate details, offering support, and building a life together creates a strong emotional bond. Untangling that bond takes time.

  • Shared History: The shared history, memories, and experiences contribute significantly to feelings of attachment. These memories can trigger feelings of love long after the breakup.

  • Idealization: Sometimes, after a breakup, it's easy to romanticize the past relationship, focusing on the good aspects and downplaying the negative ones. This idealization can lead to continued feelings of love.

  • Familiarity and Comfort: Exes are often sources of familiarity and comfort. You know them well, and there's a level of comfort in that familiarity, which can be mistaken for love.

  • Unresolved Issues: Unresolved issues or lack of closure can keep feelings of love alive. If you never fully processed the breakup or understood why it happened, you might hold onto feelings for your ex.

Loving an ex doesn't necessarily mean you should be with them or that you're not ready to move on. It simply acknowledges the lingering impact of a significant relationship. Accepting these feelings as normal can be a healthy part of the healing process. It's important to recognize these feelings and then decide how to manage them in a way that supports your current well-being and future relationships.

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