askvity

How to Not Be Self-Critical?

Published in Self-Compassion Strategies 4 mins read

Overcoming self-criticism is possible through practical strategies that foster self-compassion and a more balanced perspective. Based on the provided reference, here's a breakdown of techniques you can employ:

Strategies to Reduce Self-Criticism

The following table outlines several strategies to reduce self-criticism:

Strategy Description Example
Investigate Origins Understand where your self-critical thoughts stem from. Reflect on childhood experiences or past criticisms that might contribute to your current self-criticism.
Change Language Reframe negative self-talk into more constructive and compassionate language. Instead of "I'm so stupid for messing up," try "I made a mistake, but I can learn from it."
Self-Criticism Jar When you catch yourself being self-critical, acknowledge it and physically note it down. This helps raise awareness of how often it occurs. Each time you self-criticize, write the thought on a piece of paper and put it in a jar.
Enlist Support Share your struggles with trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Having someone who provides an outside perspective can offer valuable support. Talking to a friend about your feelings of self-doubt and receiving encouragement.
Loving-Kindness Meditation Practice meditations that cultivate kindness and compassion for yourself and others. Directing kind wishes to yourself by repeating phrases like "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be at ease."
Breathing Exercise When self-criticism arises, engage in a breathing exercise to calm your mind and reduce anxiety. Focus on deep, slow breaths to bring yourself back to the present moment and away from negative thought patterns.
Celebrate Wins Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Keep a journal of your wins, noting what you're proud of, not just big achievements, but also the small steps forward.
Neutral Voice Intentionally replace your critical inner voice with a more neutral one. When you feel that critical voice come in, imagine a neutral narrator giving the information to you without judgement.

Practical Insights and Solutions

  • Be patient: Overcoming self-criticism is a process, not an overnight fix. Be kind to yourself as you work through it.
  • Consistency is key: Regularly practicing these strategies will gradually shift your mindset.
  • Self-awareness is essential: You can't change what you don't recognize. Start by paying attention to when your self-criticism is triggered and what specific patterns emerge.
  • Accept Imperfection: Understand that making mistakes is part of being human. Focus on learning and growth instead of self-blame.
  • Focus on Progress: Don't compare yourself to others; concentrate on your personal journey and the progress you make.

Example scenario

For example, imagine you didn't meet a deadline at work. Instead of the internal critic saying, "You are lazy, this always happens, you will probably be fired", try the following steps:

  1. Recognize this is a self critical thought and then, acknowledge and write the thought on a piece of paper for your self-criticism jar.
  2. Investigate its origin, might it stem from fear of failure?
  3. Change the language to "I didn't meet the deadline this time, I can learn from this and improve for next time".
  4. Enlist Support by talking to a friend or mentor about it.
  5. Practice some breathing exercises to calm your nerves and refocus.

Conclusion

By integrating these strategies into your daily life, you can progressively lessen self-critical patterns, cultivate self-compassion, and foster a healthier, more balanced sense of self.

Related Articles