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How Should We See Ourselves?

Published in Self-Perception 3 mins read

To see ourselves effectively, we should strive for an objective perspective, free from self-consciousness, by examining our appearance, voice, and actions, while also considering how others perceive us.

Seeing ourselves clearly is a fundamental aspect of self-awareness. It requires a conscious effort to look inward, acknowledge external perspectives, and remove the filter of self-consciousness that often distorts our view.

Achieving an Objective Self-View

The process involves more than just introspection; it demands a form of detached observation. As suggested by the reference, a practical approach involves stepping back and observing yourself almost as an outsider would.

Steps to Objective Self-Reflection:

  1. Mirror Observation: Physically stand before a mirror and observe your appearance. Go beyond mere looks; pay attention to your posture, expressions, and how you carry yourself.
  2. Self-Assessment: Reflect on your voice (tone, volume, clarity) and your typical actions (habits, reactions, behaviors). How do these aspects manifest in different situations?
  3. Acknowledge External Views: Actively consider how other people might perceive your appearance, voice, and actions. Recognize that their perspectives will likely differ from your own internal assessment. This highlights the gap between self-perception and external reality.
  4. Strip Away Self-Consciousness: This is perhaps the most challenging step. Self-consciousness often injects judgment, anxiety, or excessive self-focus into our self-perception. Consciously try to neutralize these feelings.
  5. Treat Yourself as a Stranger: Imagine you are encountering yourself for the first time. What observations would you make without prior knowledge or emotional attachment? This helps cultivate a neutral, observational stance.

By following these steps, we can begin to build a more accurate and less biased understanding of who we are, based on observable traits and behaviors, filtered through the acknowledgment of external viewpoints, and viewed without the haze of self-consciousness.

Why Objective Self-Perception Matters

Viewing yourself objectively is crucial for personal growth and effective interaction with others.

  • Reduces Bias: Our internal view is often skewed by emotions, beliefs about ourselves, and past experiences. An objective view helps correct these biases.
  • Improves Communication: Understanding how you come across to others (considering their views) enhances your ability to communicate effectively.
  • Facilitates Growth: Recognizing your actions and behaviors from a detached perspective allows for honest assessment and targeted self-improvement.
  • Builds Resilience: By viewing challenges and setbacks without excessive self-judgment (stripping away self-consciousness), you can approach them more constructively.
Aspect Subjective View (Often Biased) Objective View (Closer to Reality)
Appearance Overly critical or overly positive Noticing specific features, posture, expressions
Voice Unnoticed habit or source of anxiety Tone, clarity, volume relative to the situation
Actions Justified behavior or regrettable error Observable patterns of response and interaction
Others' View Feared judgment or assumed approval Differing interpretations based on their perspective

Seeing ourselves well involves a continuous practice of self-observation, external awareness, and the discipline to remove self-imposed filters. It's not about adopting others' views entirely, but understanding they exist and using them, alongside objective self-assessment, to form a more complete picture.

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