Finding your orientation is a deeply personal journey, as sexual orientation describes how you feel inside, and only you know what it's like to be you. It's about understanding your own internal feelings of attraction and identity, not about external appearances or assumptions made by others.
Understanding Sexual Orientation
Sexual orientation is fundamentally about who you are emotionally, romantically, and/or sexually attracted to. It's not something determined by how you look, what hobbies you have, or stereotypes. As the reference highlights, some people may think they can guess if a person is lesbian, gay, or bisexual based on superficial factors like how they look, dress, or behave. However, this is inaccurate and doesn't reflect a person's true orientation.
Why Only You Can Know Your Orientation
The most crucial point in finding your orientation is recognizing that it is entirely internal and personal. Only you know what it's like to be you, meaning only you can truly understand the nature of your attractions and identity. External factors, societal expectations, or what others assume about you don't define your orientation.
Exploring Your Feelings
Since orientation is internal, finding yours involves self-reflection and paying attention to your feelings. Here are some ways people often explore their orientation:
- Reflecting on Attractions: Think about who you are drawn to emotionally, romantically, or sexually. This isn't just about who you think you should be attracted to, but who you genuinely feel attracted to.
- Considering Different Labels: Read about different sexual orientations (like heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, queer, etc.). See if any of these labels resonate with how you feel or have felt. It's okay if a label fits perfectly, partially, or not at all right now.
- Allowing Yourself Time: Understanding your orientation can be a process that takes time. There's no rush to figure it out, and your understanding might evolve over your life.
- Focusing on Internal Experience: Ignore external pressures or stereotypes about how people of a certain orientation are "supposed" to look or act. Your internal feelings are the guide.
Ultimately, finding your orientation is about listening to yourself and understanding your own unique experience of attraction and identity.
