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What to say when a girl says how can I trust you?

Published in Trust Building 2 mins read

When a girl asks, "How can I trust you?", a thoughtful response acknowledges her feelings and focuses on your actions, rather than demanding her trust. The best approach, according to past successful experience, is to say: "You don't, but you trust yourself to know that I am a genuine person that wants to help. If you don't want to trust me, that's ok, but I will try to be there for you as much as possible."

Why This Approach Works:

This response is effective for several key reasons:

  • Acknowledges Her Perspective: It validates her feelings by stating she doesn't have to trust you right away. This removes pressure and creates a safe space.
  • Shifts Focus to Her Judgement: It empowers her by highlighting her ability to evaluate your character based on your actions, not just your words.
  • Demonstrates Sincerity: By offering to be there for her, you show genuine intent and commitment, which over time, can build trust.
  • Avoids Defensiveness: It sidesteps the temptation to become defensive or overly insistent on trust, which is counterproductive.

Further Considerations:

Here are some additional points to keep in mind:

  • Actions Speak Louder Than Words: Your behavior should align with your statement. Consistent kindness, reliability, and honesty are crucial.
  • Patience is Key: Building trust takes time, and there are no shortcuts.
  • Avoid Over-Explaining: Don't feel the need to over-explain or provide excuses. Simple and direct responses are often the most effective.
  • Be Genuine: Your sincerity and authenticity are fundamental to establishing trust. If you're trying to act a certain way, it will be difficult to build a genuine trusting relationship.

In summary

The question "How can I trust you?" isn't about instant trust, but about your actions and her judgment. You’re not demanding trust; you are empowering her to make that decision herself. The response should include the following:

  • Acknowledgment that trust isn't immediate.
  • Emphasis on her ability to determine your trustworthiness.
  • A promise to show your support through actions.

This is the best approach when someone asks how they can trust you.

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